To lose someone close

Sorry, but it was a while since i posted.

The summer has been quite turbulent for me. My father died in the middle of June. First I reacted very strongly – but then it has been quite okey. But now the last couple of weeks the lost of my father has come over me again – in another way. I really miss our conversations and his presence.
My father was just 61 years old – its not that old I think. He had a lot of friends and I come to realize that he was appreciated of many in the town were he lived. One of the question after the funeral was – who gonna be standing at my grave and say that my life meant something for them – will it just be the same kind of people as I am or will it be – as in my fathers case – people who he gave dignity because of the way he treated them. My father always took the poor and disadvantage side.

I often understand my life through the texts of U2 so also in this case. In the lyrics of “You can’t always make it on your own” (a text which doesn’t explain the our relationship very well in every aspect) there is a passage which is something like – “can you here me when I sing – cause your the reason that I sing.” I came to understand due to these lyrics that I will miss that my father was proud of what I did. My be it sounds ridiculous – but it is the way it is. I am an academic, he wasn’t but he was proud over what I accomplished and tried to understand the paper I wrote. His life was more down to earth – and I hope I will learn from that.

Peace – “the swede”!

4 thoughts on “To lose someone close

  1. Peace to you too, Fredrik. I don’t know what it is like to have a father die, but I hope that I too can find a place of understanding, like you, when it happens to me.

  2. My father didn’t understand why I did face to face youthwork and for a while kept asking when I was going to get a proper job. Slowly he understood where I was coming from and it wasn’t until after his death that I heard from his friends that he was proud of what I did. I spoke at his funeral, preparing for that and slowly over the years my understanding of him has increased. I am glad you have been able to reach the place you have and pray for you as your journey continues.

  3. Thank you!
    And thank you somewhere who wrote that you appreciate the openess of this blog. We really want to be a holistic blog (aren’t we…). Death is always something which gets us thinking and see things from another perspective.
    Thanks again. I hope I will start blogging much more now…

  4. Oh now I saw – it was you RIchard…sorry for missing that. Than I now – we want to blog holistically!!!
    I’m grateful that you invited me to blog on your blog…


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