A disconcerting mysticism

Often we think of prayer, meditation, contemplation and mysticism as stages or levels, a movement beyond petition, words, to space and connectivity. But they usually all have in common a withdrawal to a space or time to practice, a coming away to give yourself time to pray, meditate etc. This way of being, of taking time out has been an important part of my journey. Equally an important part has been a journey against separateness (dualism) in thinking about worship, mission, prayer.

The last few months I have found I needed less and less to withdraw, and felt more and more oneness. Even in moments of being alone, I am not seeking to practice prayer, or mediate, but simply experiencing A deeper connectedness, a constantacy, and not so much a tap or a well but more a “nowness” (which I think is Augustine) that is both full and empty, now and not yet, a future present state. This nowness is staying with me, there has been a shift from the struggle of being still and still moving to released and relaxed reality.

Its a great place, and something I really value as it seems a good shift beyond dualism. But to be honest it’s a bit disconcerting. Anyone else experiencing a shift in their inner life?

2 thoughts on “A disconcerting mysticism

  1. Whoa! Same!! Much less reading and praying actively – much less resting, hanging out & daydreaming when taking time out. I think what’s happened is that some if the walls of separation inside have imploded and now there’s a new oneness, a great sense of Christ in me. To be honest it scared the pants off me at the beginning as I thought I’d ‘lost’ my faith, but I’m learning to be comfortable with having lost a lot of the constructs I was inhabiting.

    Had a picture of myself in the pats in a room crammed full of furniture and I was always rearranging the mirrors and polishing the tables. Then I saw it disappear and found myself in a white empty warehouse, nothing in it anymore, no distractions. Feels free!

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