Author Archives: James Hawes

The longest night of the year

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Tonight we celebrated the winter solstice with a few friends around a lovely fire in our garden.

We seek to celebrate the passing of the seasons and connect with the ancient rhythms and cycle of the year. My interest in celebrating and connecting the passing of our days has been informed by my interest in Celtic and creation spirituality and my inner need for rhythm. I need to do this – to keep connected to myself, to god, to others, to the seasons and to creation.

I believe that the further we move away from creation the harder it becomes to connect with our soul. I believe that everything belongs and therefore I need to keep connected with the sacredness of life – with all living things.

When God speaks – the physical is created – in the first instance creation and in the second when Jesus was born – this is sacred materialism or incarnation.

I love winter – I see it as a time for going inwards – for reflection, for hibernation – ideally I would love to reduce my work time and listen to the seasons and my body, but our busy world often prevents this… so in our liturgy we seek to reflect on the past year, taking time to feel the cold and then the warmth of the fire…. Below is part of the liturgy that we use…

Tonight we welcome and celebrate winter
Light nights have faded and darkness covers the hours
The moon is visible longer than the sun
We welcome short days and long nights
We welcome coldness and cosiness
We welcome winter nights

Tonight we become aware that we have passed from the brightness of the sun
To the softness of the moon.
We have moved from neon illumination blinding us into outward activity
To the warmth of mellow light leading us inward
Help us embrace and discover this feminine journey in the comfort of sister moon.
We welcome you sister moon

God Giggled

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It was the first Christmas and…

God giggled
God farted
God burped
God gurgled
God needed a cuddle
God was a baby…

Christmas reminds us:

That we don’t have to find God – he finds us in our humanity –
We don’t have to go up – he came down
We find God in the physical, in our bodies, in material, in humanity.
God became one of us….

Advent reflection for today

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For God to become a baby he had to
Squeeze himself into a small space
Confine himself into a fallible body
Restrict himself to humanity
Reduce himself to limited movements
Become weak and vulnerable
Rely on humans to take care of him
For Christ to become one of us
He had to be born like us
The light was hidden within the womb
The thirst quencher received refreshment from the breast of Mary
The bread of life had to learn how to eat
The one who holds us, first had to be held
The Lover was loved
The way had to learn to walk
The word had to learn to speak
The teacher was taught
The creator how to create
This is our God…

Christmas is all about receiving !

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The following is a reflection I prepared for an Advent session…..

Christmas is all about giving!!
The lord loves a cheerful giver!!
Giving is better then receiving – or so they say
But what about being a good receiver…
It seems to me that receiving is much harder
And when we think about it isn’t receiving what Christmas is actually all about
Giving is relatively easy – it may challenge our selfishness or priorities
But giving doesn’t expose our needs

I don’t like surprises, why? Because I’m not in control..
What if I get something I didn’t like or want – what do I say?
Do I lie and say how much I like it, do I have to be grateful?
Knowing that I will either give it to someone else or give it to a charity shop.
Have you ever received a Christmas gift from someone you hadn’t expected one from?
What do you do? Do you feel guilty and rush out and buy them a token gift?
What happens if that gift is perfect, something you really appreciate and yet you had no idea that you would like it.

Mary was open to receiving an unexpected gift,
She welcomed and wondered at the gift given and created space within her to receive it.
This unexpected gift radically changed her life
She ultimately gave over her whole world to this gift.

Giving can make us feel powerful, competent, self-sufficient and capable sort of people, giving doesn’t expose our needs.
Learning the art of receiving calls us to intimacy, honesty, openness and evaluation.
To receive the love of another, calls me to intimacy, I have to expose something of my inner world, of who I am. To receive another’s love I have to allow my innermost self to be touched.
To receive I have to open my hands, ( I love the Eucharist in this sense, this childlike openness to receive the body and blood.
Inner growth comes from opening ourselves up to receive from others
Christmas is about receiving the love that Jesus offers to us.
To be loved means that I must bring myself with all my insecurities, pain and needs to be embraced by another.

To be on the receiving end of love requires that we see our lives not as our possessions, but as gifts. Emptiness is a gift, to have enough room, to not be too full. To be needy, poor, weak, can be a gift.
Ultimately the gospel is about receiving a precious unbelievable gift, the gift of God being born in us.
When Mary offered space, love and belief in her life, her life changed forever.
Learning the art of receiving is a powerful call to change.
In receiving I need to welcome the other
In receiving I need to make room and space to accept that which I frequently fail to realise I need.
In receiving – I change.

Advent Wisdom

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Oscar Romero said/wrote this…

No one can celebrate a genuine Christmas
Without being truly poor.
The self-sufficient, the proud,
Those who, because they have everything,
Look down on others, who have no
Need even of God – for them there
Will be no Christmas.
Only the poor, the hungry,
Those who need someone to come on their behalf,
Will have that someone.
That someone is God – with – us.
Without poverty of spirit there can be no abundance of God.

What happened to Christmas?

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I live in a multi ethnic community, where people belong to many different religions. Recently there was an event to mark the start of Eid , Davila and very soon Hanukah. All these religious festivals are openly talked about in my son’s school and celebrated but you can’t find celebrations for Christmas anywhere? On a local poster all the above religious festivals are mentioned but not Christmas – Santa is on it and words like winter festivities or festival of lights, but Christmas is never mentioned. In my son’s school they are going to do play about a baby – but as yet the word ‘Christ’ has not been mentioned.

You can tell by now that I am a little pissed off about this. Who is against Christmas? I don’t think the other religious faiths are? So who is it – is it big business or people who are trying to be politically correct – why is Christmas so offensive? Is it because it has ‘Christ’ in the title? I don’t know. Any ideas….??

When will the leaves fall?

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My family and some friends annually celebrate ‘Leaf day’ – where we mark the leaves falling, recognise the passing of another summer and prepare ourselves for winter. This is one of the rituals that we seek to keep to remind and reconnect us to the rhythm of our year and seasons. We do this with games for the kids in the leaves, eating and doing something crafty and a meditation for the adults about the joys of letting go and the beautiful lessons and colours that death can reveal to us.

But here in Nottingham the leaves are not falling (some are, but not in great quantities) …. So we wait and we hope that the leaves will fall before the season of Advent begins.

Does Pastor Ted need to meet Father Ted?

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I am writing about the latest high profile evangelical to be caught with his pants down, a powerful American with links to the White house. Pastor Ted was actively preaching against gay marriage while apparently indulging in gay sex with a male prostitute.

How many times have we witnessed Christians from this tradition struggle to practice what they preach? How many times do they have to live with double standards? Why? Are the standards to high? Perhaps the person just has weak morals and values? Or perhaps the theology is wrong?

Now we all make mistakes – in fact the making of mistakes is one of the best ways of learning. But are we allowed to make mistakes in some theological power houses?

I wonder if the deep rooted theological position of dualism is to blame for this. This position understands things in terms of – black and white; right and wrong,; secular and sacred; in and out; sinner and righteous; saved and unsaved; good and bad etc. This root leaves little space for flaws, mistakes and embracing your shadow. This type of theology encourages a split personality and a lack of authenticity and intimacy. Dualism gives little space for personal development and leaves the individual with little self-awareness and an inability to face the real difficult issues that reside in who we are.

Longing to belong

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Following on from Richard’s ’ thread, I haven’t attended a traditional church in a committed way for the last 10 years and I have often asked myself what I miss from not going. My answer to this is the group experience , being part of a social network which I have struggled to find since leaving. I am aware that many people join social clubs and create social networks that can often give some of the same benefits but I suppose I long for some spiritual connection. Since that time I have been part of many starter things but have all failed for various reasons and I know that in some ways I have been the problem leaving me to do much soul searching and self-reflection.

Hidden within the longing to be part of a group is that I have a need to belong. Belonging to me is a sense of ‘being known and knowing others’ in an authentic way. I sensed this to some degree in the traditional church and especially with the vitality of meeting with people of difference especially the broken. I also felt that many in the church could not accept difference or be authentic and vulnerable – therefore I was unable to get to know them.

My journey has taken me to a place of stepping out of the church framework that I have found difficult and painful provoking some fundamental and raw questions about faith, gospel, church, salvation, sin, love, grace etc. Part of me longs to go back to those days, but I know I can never return, but I know and long to be part of a community of people who want to explore humanity in a real and loving way.

The closest I have got to this dream, has been in the Counselling and Psychotherapy community. It has given me a place to be me myself without judgement, a place to explore my flaws without condemnation and a place to learn to listen to others with empathy without the need to provide the answers or try and fix them.

I suppose that old U2 song is still very relevant for me, “I still havn’t found what I’m looking for� but the journey has taught me so much and taken me into areas of my own pain that I would never have explored without this experience and I feel I am a better person because of it. But I still long to be part of an authentic community, I long to explore faith in humanity, and ultimately I still long to belong.