For many in our society conception is not guaranteed, leaving many women, men and couples bereft, sad and disappointed. Likewise with pregnancy, the mother embraces a fragile process and begins a journey into an unknown, unsure and often difficult wait including enduring morning sickness. So many questions, Will the baby reach full term? Will the baby be alright? Will the mother be alright? Will there be complications? , Will I eat the right things? Will the father be supportive? Will it be a boy or girl?

Is life just one big agnostic advent? Most of us wouldn’t claim to know what the future will bring and so in life we embrace a not-knowing way of being. There is so much we don’t know? So many things we can’t be sure of – there are no guarantees!! We don’t know what the future holds, we can’t be sure of outcomes? We can’t guarantee that we will make the right choices or that we will be happy? We can’t prevent struggles and difficulties entering into our life.

And so back to Mary, How was she to prepare herself for this new life? She carried this life within her, fusing feeling full with being uncomfortable. Her life was no longer just hers; she was protecting the fragile new life within. The tension between it’s vulnerability with her anxiety. It is meant to be a boy – what if it is a girl? Her life would never be the same again – would the child be alright? Would he and she survive the birth? (it wouldn’t be uncommon) What would the child look like? How would he change her? How would she cope with looking after a baby, would she be good enough?

How did Mary and Joseph understand and feel about what was happening to them during the huge surprise and news of Mary’s pregnancy?

How did Mary Feel? Mary is visited by an Angel and is impregnated – she remains a virgin/ never sleeping with a man. The semen is divine – was it divine IVF? This is impossible – never happened before – how would she tell Joseph? What would he think? What would her friends think? What were her feelings –perhaps deep fear of being seen as crazy, many questions, awe, amazement and anxiety all fused together.

How did Joseph feel? – Mary has slept with an angel / God – this brings a whole new meaning to the earth moved! How can he compete with that? Is he just a bit-part in the whole scenario? Can he believe her, can he trust her – this is impossible and it’s not fair, it messes with all my plans! Never has anything like this happened before or anyone claimed this… Who is Mary?

Following on from a recent comment I made on one of Richard’s posts about embracing the religious tradition of Agnosticism, I began to think about what this would mean in terms of advent. And so I hope throughout this advent season to explore this by putting up a few posts.

Being an agnostic essentially means unknowing and Advent means ‘waiting’ – so perhaps as we enter this advent season we enter a time of waiting for the unknown.

Perhaps this was how Mary and Joseph felt…

And how the mystics lived…

The tradition of agnosticism belongs to the mystics outside the church walls, where they are free to embrace uncertainty, weakness, uselessness, not- knowing and powerlessness. They have no need of dualism, answers, or right and wrong thinking. They have no need of a parent to have authority over them. They embrace empathy, uncondtional love, the question and the unending journey.